


Lover Lay Down

by AnnaSepulchre



Series: olchlt [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Emotional Baggage, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, recovering alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 14:16:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14022072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaSepulchre/pseuds/AnnaSepulchre
Summary: “Hi, remember me, the sad drunk you had pity sex with after your shift? I’m mostly better now but I feel like I need closure a year after we had sex in a closed women’s toilet.Probably not the best opening line.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on tumblr on August 12th, 2017.  
> With phandomsub’s blessing, this is a continuation of her disgustingly good fic Only Love Can Hurt Like This, because my brain needed a fix-it. The problem is that my brain needed a semi-realistic fix-it, and that takes a long time for someone going through the shit Phil was going through.
> 
> Title from [Lover Lay Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ysz_DCpdyE) by Dave Matthews Band.

Phil stood outside of the bar, flipping his card over and over in his hands, clicking the cardstock between his fingers. In the twilight, a year later, this place looked even dingier than he remembered from his drunken haze. He took a deep steadying breath, not sure if he was trying to talk himself out of leaving or going in. He triple-checked that his car was locked - not that anyone would want to steal his beat-up Mini Cooper here - and headed towards the stairs. The _Boys in Boots_ sign hissed and popped above his head, neon crackling obscenely against the deep lavender and pink hues of the sky. The bouncer glanced at him curiously as he walked in, but made no comment.

The music in the club was quieter than he remembered, and the club was empty save for the bartender and a young man on stage with a shock of blonde hair and shaved sides doing something to prepare the pole - Phil wouldn’t presume to know what went into stripping preparation. He glanced between the bartender and the dancer, then made his way over to the stage.

“Um, excuse me?” _Great_ , Phil thought, _a strong start having your voice crack like it hasn’t for 20 years_. The dancer turned around and blinked at him.

“Show starts in half an hour, love, why don’t you go get a drink?”

“Ah, oh, I’m not really here for that. I, um… Does a guy named Dan still work here? Early twenties, about my height, brown hair?”

The guy narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth, but Phil cut him off.

“I understand if you can’t give me any details, that’s fine, just, uh,” he popped the card between his fingers again and held it out to the dancer. “If he does, can you give him this? Just, take it either way. I won’t come back looking for him, I just thought…” Phil trailed off, and laughed a little. “I don’t really know what I thought. He can call or text the number on there.”

The guy took the card and stared at it for a minute, then looked at Phil for a long time, inscrutable. Phil shifted and awkwardly put his hands in his pockets.

“That’s all, I guess. Um, thanks-”

“He still works here.”

Phil blinked up at the dancer. A small smile pulled at the guy’s mouth, and he tucked the card into the pocket of his skintight shorts.

“I’ll give it to him after his shift tonight.”

“I, uh, thank you! Thank you.” Phil swallowed around his suddenly dry throat, and nodded. “Um, I guess, good luck with your show tonight, get good tips-”

“It is still customary to say ‘break a leg’ here.” The smile threatened to pull into a grin on the dancer’s face. Phil flushed.

“Right! Break a leg then.”

“Go on, get out, you’re about to burst into flames from embarrassment.” The dancer laughed and turned back to the pole, shaking his head.

Phil turned and deliberately walked out past the chuckling bartender, trying not to blush any harder  - _I am a grown man, damnit_ , he thought.

 

-

 

Phil had tossed and turned and stared blankly at all the social media on his phone before he realized he wasn’t going to get any sleep yet. Leaving things open ended was awful, and he was terrible with it - he wished that dancer hadn’t told him anything at all, because that way he could’ve gotten closure.  Now he was just waiting for contact that might never happen. Dan could not remember him ( _who knows how often he fucked men in the women’s toilet_ , his brain traitorously whispered), or not want anything to do with him, or could’ve had a laugh about it with his friends that were his age while tearing up his business card.

Phil rolled out of bed and grabbed his phone off the charger - 12:26am. He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled loudly before standing and grabbing his jeans off the floor. “Intrusive thoughts, they’re not real, that’s not what’s really happening,” he muttered. He grabbed his wallet and keys and threw on his zip-up over his t-shirt, walking out of his studio apartment and clicking the door shut gently behind him.

He jangled his keys as he walked towards his car, only stopping when the neighbor’s dog whuffed behind a door. _Sorry, sorry_ , he thought, feeling more bad for waking up the dog than he would’ve for waking up the neighbor. He slid into the driver’s side and tossed his wallet on top of his portfolio on the passenger’s seat. He stared for a minute, then shook his head and started the car. “Remember to bring that in with you next time,” he said to himself.

 

-

 

Phil curled up on the chair at the 24-hour Starbucks, steam rising from his coffee and a foot tucked under his other leg. The only other people here were two baristas, quietly chatting over the clinking of the espresso machine and the acoustic music floating through the speakers. He slowly flipped through his portfolio, pulling out some pictures carefully and shifting their order.

His phone lit up and buzzed against the table with an unknown number.

Before he could do more than blink as his brain caught up, it shut off. He grabbed it, flipping past the lock screen, intent on calling the number back, when he got two texts in a row.

 

‘sorry i didn’t think that through i’m not good on the phone’

'this is dan by the way

from the club

i hope there’s not like another dan from a club that you know’

 

Before Phil could do more than open his keyboard, he got a third text.

 

'i’m just gonna stop until you text back so i don’t further embarrass myself’

 

Phil huffed a laugh. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard; he really hadn’t thought through what he might say. _Hi, remember me, the sad drunk you had pity sex with after your shift? I’m mostly better now but I feel like I need closure a year after we had sex in a closed women’s toilet._ Probably not the best opening line.

 

'Hi! Wow, I really wasn’t sure I would hear from you. I don’t know any other Dans at all, so you’re in the clear!’

 

That looks reasonably appropriate, he thinks. It’s only a minute back before he gets a response, two texts back to back again.

 

'oh gross look at all that punctuation ugh too perfect’

'why are you still up aren’t you like really old’

 

Phil only barely suppresses a bark of laughter before another text rolls in.

 

'i’m so sorry just ignore me

my sense of humor does not translate well to text’

 

'It’s fine, it made me laugh. I couldn’t sleep so now I’m just at Starbucks. Coffee helps you sleep, right?’

 

Dan’s a fast texter, because more texts roll in quicker than Phil could reply to each one.

 

'well it won’t help you sleep but it’s technically better than being blackout drunk’

'which starbucks are you at’

'unless that’s a really creepy question but i was gonna get a coffee regardless’

 

Phil took a breath and paused. He carefully typed out the street intersection he was near, and hesitated.

 

'I don’t mind company! I’m just half-working on a project I’ve been playing with.’

 

Phil hit send and chewed on the corner of his thumbnail before sitting his phone down; almost immediately it buzzed again.

 

'that would be 'with which i’ve been playing’ mr correct grammar’

'yeah i know where that is, i’ll hop on the bus there’

 

Phil uncrossed his legs and recrossed them the other way, suddenly self-conscious about how he looked. He ran a hand through his quiff, brushing it into a better place, using the dark screen of his phone as a mirror. It lit up again.

 

'i’m not going to be confident enough to say this in person but i’m glad you’re not like, dead or something’

'though i’m also assuming you’re not a millionaire since you didn’t roll up in your lambo to fetch me from work’

 

Phil smiled at his phone.

 

'I’m glad I’m not 'dead or something too’. And no, I’m sadly not a millionaire, haha.’

 

Phil paused and added, 'I also haven’t had alcohol in a year though, so, small steps.’ and pressed send.

 

Phil waited, but all he got back was a simple 'bus is here omw’. He clicked his screen off and stared down at his portfolio, suddenly not able to focus. He clicked the screen back on and plugged directions into Maps - Google estimated that public transit would take about 15 minutes via public transportation to get from the club to this Starbucks. He locked his phone and shut his portfolio, suddenly wishing he was facing the door so he could see when Dan came in. He drummed his fingers on the table, wishing he’d brought headphones to block out his thoughts - he hadn’t needed to do that since before… well, before.

“You alright, mate? You look a bit stressed.” Phil startled; one of the baristas was cleaning off the tables and looking at him with concern.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just meeting someone in a few minutes, and I didn’t think they were gonna show.”

The girl furrowed her brow. “This late? You safe?”

Phil almost laughed, but he just smiled. “Yeah, it’s fine. Thank you, though.” He curled his fingers around his cooled coffee, quietly appreciating the kindness and letting his mind settle.

“Let me know if you need anything, then.” She walked back to the counter and nodded to her co-worker, who smiled at him reassuringly.

Well. At least someone outside of his immediate family was interested in his well-being. Phil took a deep breath and let it out, trying to focus on nothing, rubbing his thumbs in circles across the ceramic mug and closing his eyes.

“Hey, ah… you awake?”

Phil opened his eyes abruptly and - _god, he looks younger than I remember_ , Phil thought. But for the dark circles under Dan’s eyes, nothing much had changed about him in a year. He had a long jacket buttoned up asymmetrically into a cowl around his neck, jeans so tight they looked like leggings. Phil’s mouth ran a little dry at the mess his hair was in, ruffled from the hood of his jacket.  Fortunately, Dan seemed equally struck, though Phil couldn’t imagine why. Phil shook his head.

“Yes, yeah, sorry, I was just zoning out.” He stood awkwardly, extending his hand for Dan’s duffel bag. “Did you order yet?” Dan shook his head and mutely shrugged his bag off his shoulder, passing it off. “Go on, I’ll sit your stuff down.”

Phil dragged over an extra chair while Dan placed an order quietly, setting his duffel down on it and tucking his portfolio between it and the back of the chair - the last thing he needed was for either of them to spill something on it. He sat down again, hands curling back around his mug, and Dan slid into the chair opposite with an enormous cup, steam smelling of bergamot.

“So,” Dan said. “Hi.”

Phil looked at him and laughed, short but genuine. “Hi,” he said, smile turning fond before he glanced down at his coffee, long since cooled. He flicked his eyes back up towards Dan, relieved to see a smile on his face.

“This probably isn’t why you asked me here, I mean,” Dan set his tea down and picked at the sleeve. “You didn’t, I just kind of invited myself, but you left your card, so that’s kind of like asking me here, and…” He trailed off looking at Phil, and then he laughed, covering his mouth. “You’re just really hot and it’s kind of distracting.”

Phil opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling heat crawl up his face. “That’s, uh,” he cleared his throat, “um, thank you? Thank you.” He paused. “I mean, the feeling is mutual. Obviously.” He groaned and leaned back in his chair, running his hand over his face and through his hair while laughing quietly. “I’m not very good at like, accepting compliments. Or giving them. Sorry.”

When he looked back at Dan, his eyes were fixed on him. Phil felt his blush deepen as he looked down to trace the Starbucks logo across the mug.

“That’s… you should. Like, accept more compliments. Like, a lot.” Dan scratched at the side of his cup. “I’m, like… fuck, sorry, I’m nervous? This is dumb. I don’t know what to say?”

“I mean, I guess I don’t really know either.” Phil shook his head a little. “That’s not- I wanted to thank you.” Dan knitted his eyebrows and opened his mouth, but Phil held up his hand. “Not for what you probably think. I just… thank you for being there. I was going through a… not great time in my life, and I’m still not fixed, but…” He paused. “You were the first person in a long time who saw me, if that makes sense. Saw me and didn’t turn away.” He could feel his face heat a little at the memory, but he cleared his throat and pushed through. “You, uh. Not to be dramatic, but you probably saved my life. So… thank you.”

When he looked up from the table, Dan’s eyes were shiny, but he didn’t seem to notice. He slumped back in his chair, pulling his tea with him. “That’s… fuck. I don’t know what I expected out of meeting you, but… that wasn’t it.” He laughed a little and swallowed, blinking rapidly. “Fuck, now I really don’t know what to say.” Phil laughed quietly, smiling and looking down at his mug as Dan continued. “I mean… you’re welcome? I don’t… I’d, well. I don’t make a habit out of fucking sad drunk guys at my work after my shifts, let’s say that.”

Phil chanced a look up and met Dan’s eyes, smiling. “I’d kind of hoped that was the case, but I wasn’t sure,” he teased gently. To his delight, Dan turned pink.

“Yeah, well, you were just…” He floundered a little, agitatedly picking at the sleeve on his cup again, but with a small smile. “I don’t know, you just, it was like… Something in your eyes, or face.” He took a drink of his tea and made a face. “Fuck, ugh, gimme a second, I let this steep too long.

Phil smiled as he stood up and went over to to the drink bar to fix his drink. He closed his eyes and spread his hands out on the table, taking a breath to pause the moment, when his phone buzzed against the table. He blinked at it and flipped it over.

 

'you looked like you’d accepted that the world was never going to give you anything good and i felt like i needed to prove you wrong’

 

Phil stared at Dan’s profile by the drink bar; his cheeks were pink, one hand stirring his drink and the other fiddling with his phone. Phil’s phone buzzed again, twice.

 

'i’m shit at saying things out loud sorry’

'and the way you look at me is very distracting’

 

Phil nearly swallowed his tongue and coughed a little as Dan sat back down, cheeks still dusted pink.

“Sorry,” Phil said, “I don’t- well.” He swallowed and glanced at Dan. “You’re just… kind of - very - beautiful. I’ll try to be less distracting.”

“Trust me, there’s a lot of effort that goes into this. You know how long it takes me to straighten my hair?” Phil snorted quietly and grinned at him, tension easing fractionally out of his shoulders. Dan’s breath hitched a little. “And, ah, I don’t think you could be less distracting. It’s just, who you are, as a person, is distracting.”

Phil leaned back in his chair, and this time Dan held gaze. “I’m pretty inept at this,” Phil admitted, “but are you actually flirting with me?”

Dan balled up his napkin and threw it at him; Phil laughed and swatted it. “Idiot, no shit I’m flirting with you. You take a look in a mirror lately?”

“Yeah, just this morning. Saw a thirty-seven year old recovering alcoholic divorceé, estranged from his kids.” Phil paused, smile slowly fading. “Sorry. Too heavy?”

Dan grinned, and Phil felt like he stopped breathing. “S'alright. I saw a twenty-three year old spoiled college dropout who’s never had to work for anything in his life. So, y'know.” He pressed his lips together, still smiling. “We’re both a little fucked up.”

“God,” Phil breathed out. “I just…” He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head.

“Think I finally found something I’m interested in going after, though,” Dan said quietly.

Phil looked up and laughed. “You’re kidding. Dan, you’re… you could have literally anyone. You are twenty-three years old. You do not want my baggage, trust me.”

“Let me make that decision?” Dan asked, voice soft. He slid his hand across the table, palm up.

Phil looked at him. “I am not a good person, Dan,” he said, matching Dan’s tone. “I’ve not…” he shook his head.

“Well, we’re two fucking peas in a pod then,” Dan said dryly. His fingers flexed slightly. “Let me make that decision,” he repeated quietly.

Phil swallowed and leaned forward, wrapping his fingers around his mug. “Dan, I don’t know how else to tell you that this is possibly the least smart decision you could make. I’m almost forty. I have kids, multiple. Until last year I hadn’t spoken to my family, whom I love dearly, for years.”

“You’re gorgeous, the kids don’t bother me at all, and you’re speaking them to now which is what matters.” Dan swallowed, starting to look nervous. “And nowhere in there did you say you weren’t interested in me.”

Phil blinked at him, and reached out, brushing the tips of Dan’s fingers with his - his skin tingled, and Dan’s eyes closed briefly at the contact. “Dan, I would have to be blind to not be interested. But I don’t even know anything about you.”

“Then ask.” Dan rubbed the pads of his fingers over Phil’s and Phil felt a shiver run down his spine. This felt inevitable. Dan slid to the edge of his seat resting both elbows on the table, eyes holding Phil’s as he touched the pads of Phil’s fingers. “I still think about how gentle you were when you opened me up,” he said softly, as his cheeks turned a dark pink.

Phil felt like all the air was sucked out of his lungs. “Christ,” he swore softly, unable to look away from Dan’s face as his fingers curled against Dan’s, twining together. “That’s not- I mean, Dan. Surely you can find someone more suitable-”

“I don’t want suitable,” Dan interrupted. “Doing suitable things makes me miserable. Stripping is the least suitable career I could have in the eyes of my family, and I’m honestly happier than I’ve ever been in my life doing it - I’m good at it, it brings in money, I like my coworkers, and I’m safe where I work.” Dan slid his hand over and pressed it to Phil’s, palm to palm, tangling their fingers together fully. “You are… I don’t want to just walk away from this, how this feels.” He blinked at Phil, and started to flush.

“Not good at speaking, huh?” Phil said, a little breathlessly.

“That’s, uh.” Dan’s fingers twitched and then gripped him tighter. “Not typical.”

Phil closed his eyes for a long moment, holding Dan’s hand and breathing deeply. _This feels like a dream_ , he thought. _The empty coffee shop, the time of night… This doesn’t happen to people. This doesn’t happen to me_. He slowly opened his eyes.

“I’m… alright. Okay.” Phil laughed a little and shook his head. “This is such a bad idea.”

“Yeah?”

Phil looked at Dan and smiled softly. “Yeah, it really is. But I’m not gonna try to stop this, because I am not a good person and you are… just, you. I’m just gonna…” He ran his unoccupied hand through his hair again. “We’ll give it a go?”

Phil looked up and Dan’s grin was blinding. “Yeah,” he said. “Fuck yes. Is like, right now good, or?”

Phil threw his head back and laughed, too loud for the atmosphere but the delighted look it pulled out of Dan was more than worth it. “I’m old and exhausted, Dan. Text me tomorrow.” He squeezed Dan’s hand and stood up. “Do you want a lift home? No Lambo, but I do I have a reliably boring Mini Cooper.”

“God, you really are old,” Dan said dryly, but his smile took all the bite out of it. “I live like 10 minutes away by bus, I’m good.”

Phil picked up his mug and dropped it off at the drink bar, Dan shouldering his duffel.

“Hey, this yours?” Phil turned and saw Dan holding his portfolio.

“Oh yeah, thanks. This is, ah, how I’m making money right now.” Phil took it and flipped it open.

“Holy shit, you took these?” Dan snatched it back out of his hands and started turning pages. Phil’s protests died on his tongue; it felt so strange to be standing shoulder to shoulder with Dan in this setting. Like an echo of something that could’ve been, in a different path.

“Phil?” Dan tilted his head at him.

“I- yeah, I took these.” Phil smiled, trying to shake the feeling. “I have a friend I met within the past year, he lets me use part of his art studio as a darkroom.” He took his portfolio out of Dan’s hands, letting their fingers brush. “I’m applying to a few galleries around town, and meanwhile I’m doing freelance photo editing to pay most of my bills.”

The conversation carried them outside into the cooler air of the early morning. “Far cry from whatever business shit you were doing before, yeah?” Dan asked.

“Yeah. I had like, whatever the positive version of a midlife crisis is.”

“Well,” Dan scuffed the ground with his shoe. “Glad I could kickstart that.” He hesitated, standing next to Phil’s car.

“Change your mind about a lift?”

Dan took a breath and looked at Phil. “No. But I’d really like to kiss you.” He stepped forward and caught Phil’s pinky with his own, hooking them together. “If we’re, like, gonna be… dating. Or trying it out. Whatever 'it’ is.” He glanced away, looking nervous. “Sorry. I just.” He swallowed audibly.

Phil looked at him, trying to pull whatever was going through Dan’s mind out of his head. “Have you ever dated anyone before?” Dan avoided his eyes. “Dan. You’re joking. I’m not-”

“Don’t. Don’t back out of this just because of that.” Dan’s hand shifted and caught Phil’s fully. “I wasn’t kidding when I said we were both a little fucked up. I’m not… People my age don’t wanna date me. They all have weird strings attached to sex and as soon as they find out that I’m a stripper they’re gone.” Dan finally looked him in the eyes again and shifted closer, placing his other hand on Phil’s chest. “Kiss me?”

Phil rested his free hand on Dan’s hip and pulled him in. “You’re being manipulative,” he murmured, brushing his nose against Dan’s and smiling, enjoying the hitch in Dan’s breath. “And see,” he added, “I’m definitely not a good person, because I’m still agreeing to this.” Up close and blessedly sober, Phil could pull apart the browns of Dan’s irises glinting in the yellow lamplight from the street.

“Yeah, well, so far you’re all talk-”

Phil cut him off by pressing his mouth to Dan’s, tugging him flush to his front by his grip on Dan’s hip. Dan let out a soft sound against Phil’s lips and arched up against him, and fuck- the memory of the last time Dan had moved like that against him crashed into Phil’s brain in half-remembered shards. Phil let out a hard breath through his nose, and slid his hand around to press against the center of Dan’s back between his shoulderblades, tilting his head and opening his mouth slightly into the kiss. Dan’s quiet noises against his mouth were intoxicating, and he felt Dan’s hand against his chest slide up, pressing against the side of his neck, thumb tracing his jaw.

“WOO! Get it, boys!”

Phil pulled back, eyes wide and gasping in air, and glared back at the Starbucks. The girl had clapped her hand over her co-worker’s mouth, looking mortified - the guy was eagerly giving them two thumbs up.

“Thanks!” Dan yelled, startling Phil. “I’m trying!”

Phil thought he would very much like to crawl back into his bed and hide forever. Dan ducked his head, resting it against Phil’s shoulder, giggling, and Phil let out a huff of air - annoyance or laughter, he couldn’t be sure.

“So,” Dan said. “Kissing. Definitely good. Looking forward to more of that.” He pulled back, grin impossibly wide. “Got the support of the local night staff, good start.”

“You’re incorrigible.” Phil leaned in and pressed a kiss to Dan’s cheek, then to his temple, then down to his jaw. “Kissing was quite good last time as well, I did at least remember that much.”

Dan squirmed against him, sliding his arm out over Phil’s shoulder and curling impossibly closer against him, solid and warm all down his front. “There were lots of parts that were good about last time,” he teased. “You know I still think about you licking my balls while you fingered me when I get off?”

“Christ, Dan, you…” Phil pulled back and glared at him, sure that the effect was ruined by his smile. “Impossible. Go home before you miss your bus.” He untangled himself from Dan, squeezing his hand before he let go, ignoring Dan’s whining.

“You’re just saying that 'cause you’re being weird and wanna wait to fuck me again, for whatever reason. What, you enjoy edging yourself?” Dan walked backward, grinning. “Masochist. Kinky.”

“Go home!” Phil yelled after him as Dan turned around, laughing. Phil unlocked his car and tossed his stuff inside before sitting down in the driver’s seat. He leaned back and sighed, unable to stop smiling. _This is such a bad idea_ , he thought. _But I’ve never been great at making good choices to begin with._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date happens. Dan’s in Phil’s flat, and it’s strangely normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on tumblr on August 19th, 2017.

In the five-day interim between clandestinely meeting at Starbucks and Phil anxiously sketching on a napkin in a mid-range restaurant, a number of things had happened.

1) Phil had to consciously fight to remember what he did with his free time before texting Dan was an option. Martyn made a comment that he was more married to his phone that he’d ever seen him to his ex, and Phil’d had to make a flimsy excuse and dart out of the room before Martyn jumped on his flush.

2) Phil threw himself headfirst into meetings with galleries around town, from coffee shops looking for a month-long display to dedicated photography galleries. This morning, he’d heard back from a fancy brunch and tea shop that wanted to display a selection of his nature portraits for sale.

3) Dan would not stop sending him selfies. A blessing in that Phil got to see his gorgeous face every day - a curse in that Phil was too self-conscious to do more than send back a photo of his coffee or whatever he was drawing at the moment. Notably, two hours ago Dan had sent three outfits spread out on a huge bed, along with two texts:

 

‘i have no sense of what outfit is too over the top for a date’

‘stripping has either ruined my fashion sense or elevated it beyond mortal standards’

 

One of the outfits was a slinky black dress; Phil wasn’t sure if he was kidding, and was too nervous to ask, instead saying, ‘You’d look wonderful in any outfit, Dan.’

 

He hesitated, then added, ‘The dress might be a bit much for the restaurant we’re going to, though.’

 

Phil received an alien head emoji in return, and decided to leave it unanswered in fear of looking ignorant of some hidden meaning.

All of these things left Phil running high on adrenaline in a way he hadn’t felt since his career was at it’s peak in his 20’s. This in turn left him anxious - _nothing that feels this good lasts_ , he thought, then tried to banish it by sketching more vigorously. He sighed and slowed down when he realized he was sketching Dan’s profile from memory, and crumpled the napkin.

His phone buzzed, shaking the ice in his lemon water.

 

'i’m here and i can see your table but i didn’t want to spook you again’

 

Phil lifted his head to look at the entrance, and his breath caught in his throat. _Why is he here, again?_ he thought helplessly. Dan timidly waved his hand once, long fingers wrapped around his phone with two raised in greeting as he walked towards the table. His outfit was black on black on black, and looked more expensive than anything Phil had ever owned - _probably including my car_. He slid into the chair next to Phil’s at the square table, putting himself adjacent to Phil instead of across.

“Sorry, I’m- you look really fucking good,” Dan blurted out before chewing on his bottom lip, eyes never leaving Phil’s face.

“Thanks, turns out sleeping and showering can help with that,” Phil laughed, relaxing a little - _this is Dan, and I’ve spent the past week talking with him - I know how to do this, at least_.  "I feel like this goes without saying, but you look incredible.“ He plucked at the sleeve of Dan’s jacket. “Could do with some color though,” he teased.

Dan played at affronted. “'Scuse the fuck outta you, I have plenty of color. I’m just too fucking hot so I threw my scarf in my backpack.” He leaned back in the chair, pulling the front of his leather jacket down and showing off the elaborate design. “There’s like, some color there too. I’m totally colorful, fuck off.”

Phil’s mouth went dry watching Dan arch and pull at his clothes. “Color me corrected, then,” he said, smiling.

“Oh christ, you make dad jokes too? Date’s cancelled, that’s too fucking cute.” Dan inched his hand next to Phil’s-

“Hello, will this be everyone for today?” the waiter drifted over, holding a second menu and glass of water, and Dan slid his hand back smoothly.

“Yes, this is all,” Phil said, glancing between Dan and the waiter; they didn’t seem to recognize each other, but Dan had gone a little stiff.

The waiter left the menu, and Phil blinked at Dan, tilting his head. “You alright? Promise I haven’t suddenly become made of lava or something.”

Dan swallowed. “Just used to people not being comfortable with stuff like that in public,” he said, eyes scanning the menu.

“Stuff like- holding hands?”

Dan nodded shortly. The waiter circled back around before Phil could respond, and they placed their orders. When he walked off again, Phil picked it up once more.

“So, you’re used to other people being uncomfortable. But are you fine with it?”

“I mean, in theory? Not like anyone’s let me,” Dan said, a small smile twisting at his mouth.

Phil reached over and threaded their hands together, palm to palm. “How’s it feel, then?”

Dan stared at him, mouth open a little on a smile, then laughed and covered his mouth with his free hand, glancing around the restaurant and squeezing Phil’s hand. “Really… It’s good. It’s really good,” he said softly behind his hand, eyes lighting up as he looked at Phil.

“You want me to start singing The Beatles or something? For maximum immersion? I wanna hold your haaa-” Dan covered Phil’s mouth with his free hand, laughing louder.

“Stop it, you’re gonna get us kicked out and I want my fucking lunch.”

Phil laughed and caught Dan’s hand as he pulled away, planting a kiss across his knuckles. “Fair,” he said, unable to stop smiling.

Dan looked at him, eyes glinting a little. “Why’s this feel so easy?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Phil admitted. “We should probably actually talk about stuff. Like, it’s a little shameful that I don’t know your last name.”

To Phil’s surprise, Dan’s smile slid off his face and he looked a little tense. “I, uh, haven’t told you on purpose. But I guess it’s a little unavoidable if I wanna keep seeing you. My last name’s Howell.”

Phil furrowed his brow, thinking. “Sounds familiar but it also just sounds like 'howl’, like a wolf or something.” Dan’s eyes were huge. “It’s not ringing a specific bell. Should it?”

“Yeah, probably,” Dan sputtered. “You see the sticker on the window when you walked in here?”

“… No?”

The tension slipped out of Dan’s shoulders and he huffed out a breath of laughter, looking exasperated and inexplicably fond. “My father runs Howell Security - 'howl and we’ll come running’? Ringing a bell yet?”

“Oh! Wow. That’s a pretty big company. That’s- they’re like a monopoly.”

“There is a very technical definition of monopoly that my father likes to skirt around,” Dan said dryly. “You understand why me giving you my tip money was not the end of the world.”

“Yeah, wow. Holy shit.” Phil leaned back in his chair, keeping their hands locked together. “It doesn’t… bother you, I guess, that I’m so poor?” Dan shrugged and took a drink of his water. “I mean, I can’t imagine your father would-”

“I don’t particularly care what my father thinks or doesn’t think about my life choices,” Dan said tightly. Phil squeezed his hand gently and Dan took a deep breath. “I get by quite well with stripping - even if he cut me off, I would be fine.”

“I have no doubt,” Phil said mildly, “but keep in mind that I’m just scraping by right now. To anyone looking in, well. It doesn’t look great. It doesn’t bother me, but I’m obviously the one benefiting if anyone was passing judgment.”

“If you were interested in me for my family money, you would’ve come back to the club a lot sooner than a year out,” Dan said. “Trust me - you know how many acquaintances of my father who’ve wanted to pay me to take photos of me naked?”

Phil blanched, and Dan laughed. “I declined and they tried to take photos of my dancing to blackmail my dad, to which he issued a statement within the company that slut-shaming his stripper son would not be tolerated, and they were fired.” Dan took another drink. “If you were in it for the money, you’re either really inept at it or some sort of criminal mastermind that I can’t read, and either way I can’t be fucked to care about it.”

Phil felt adrift and more than a little sad on Dan’s behalf. The waiter brought their food: a chicken salad for Dan that was more chicken than salad along with a sparkling fruit drink, and a grilled chicken sandwich with chips and a cola for Phil. He didn’t seem fussed by their linked hands, simply saying “Call if you need anything,” before wandering off again.

“You think that guy’s high?” Dan nodded toward the waiter as he sipped his new drink. Phil choked a little on his drink, laughing. “I’m serious! He seems super spaced.”

“Probably just hates his job, Dan,” Phil teased. He lifted their joined hands and pressed a soft kiss to Dan’s before letting go. “Need both hands to eat, or I’m going to be a catastrophic embarrassment to you,” he explained.

“S'alright, I do a pretty good job of that by myself, usually.” Dan flexed his hand absentmindedly and pulled his food forward. “So you said you had exciting art news?”

 

-

 

“So, wait,” Dan said, trying to reel in his laughter, “after you told him all of that, he almost kicked you out anyway?!”

“Yep!” Phil said cheerfully. “Wouldn’t’ve blamed him, but I’m glad he didn’t. I missed Martyn, missed his humor. Trying to explain things to Cornelia when she got home though - jesus. She was exactly torn between beating me and crying, so she just did both.”

Dan laughed harder. “Wait, wait, you gotta show me a picture of her, didn’t you say she was super tiny?”

“Those are the women to be terrified of - they will use the terrain as their weapon,” Phil said gravely, but he was grinning as he unlocked his phone to flip through his photos.

 

-

 

“Didn’t bother talking about it with him after that,” Dan said. “He was pretty clear about his anger.”

Phil rubbed his thumb over the back of Dan’s knuckles. “He still loves you, Dan.” Dan scoffed. “I’m not kidding. From other things you’ve mentioned - he wouldn’t bother defending you to his entire company if he didn’t care. He could’ve just disowned you.”

Dan shook his head, fork carving off a piece of his flourless chocolate cake with his free hand. “That’d be more of an embarrassment than anything else. I know he’s already shifted his ambitions for me to my brother. ’S fine with me, gives me more freedom to figure out what the hell I’m doing without him breathing on my neck to inherit the company.”

“And anyway,” Dan continued, “the point of me telling that story was not reliving my father’s disappointment, it was that I get tested regularly and I’m clean.”

Phil swallowed his coffee, but only barely.

“Aww, I was really hoping for a spit take.”

“You’re going to have to try a little harder than that.”

 

-

 

“That’s Mikey, who refuses to listen when I call her Michaela, and that’s Bethany.”

“How old are they?”

“Mikey’s 12, and Bethany’s 8. We had-” Phil paused. But, Dan had asked. “We had a son, our oldest, but he…”

Dan’s hand squeezed his. “What’s his name?”

“… David.” Phil locked his phone and pulled out his wallet. He shifted but Dan didn’t let go, just slid his hand onto his forearm so Phil could use both of his hands. “I don’t keep pictures of him on my phone. Don’t want to flip through and see him, y'know?” Dan murmured something affirmative, and Phil pulled out a small photo file from an inside pocket on his wallet.

“This is him - that’s Mikey, she was only a baby when he… died. So she doesn’t remember it.”

“You all look happy in that photo,” Dan said quietly.

Phil paused. “I was,” he said carefully, “and I wasn’t.”

 

-

 

“So,” Dan said, adjusting his designer backpack (“It’s not a _purse_ , Phil, what the hell.”). “That went well?” The sun was noticeably lower in the sky than when Phil had walked in; the staff had seemed glad that they were giving up their table, and Phil could see them already busing it through the window.

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“Well, I’m not trying to speak for you, but it went well for me.” Dan stepped closer into Phil’s space. “I’d like it to keep going well, if you’re up for that. Like, today.” Dan paused. “I’m talking about-”

“Dan, I know what you’re talking about.” Phil smiled at Dan’s grin, infectious. “I did say I would show you my apartment, since you’re apparently fascinated with how the other half lives.”

“Please, if I wanted to see that, I’d go visit my friend Melissa. I’m interested in you, and your art stuff, and where you live. And sleep. And do… not sleeping things.” Dan raised his eyebrows.

“I promise you nothing. Get in the car, Daniel.”

“Ooh, full name, bossy.”

 

-

 

Phil rattled his keys as Dan followed him up the stairs, acutely aware of how much Dan did not fit in these surroundings. The paint was a faded baby blue, peeling along the wooden banisters, and the steps of his walk-up creaked. Phil felt like he’d dressed nicely today, but it was nothing compared to the obvious wealth that dripped off Dan.

“Phil? You okay?”

Phil blinked, realizing they’d stopped in front of his flat door. He sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose a little.

“Look, it’s just… nothing.”

“Hey.” Dan wrapped his fingers around Phil’s wrist, stilling the jingling of his keys. “I’m here for you, and for what you do. The fact that you’re affording any place in London based on an art career, let alone a decent walk-up and no roommates, is fucking amazing, okay?”

Phil just stared at him.

“Kinda obvious what you were worrying about.” Dan fiddled with his fringe, a nervous habit Phil had noticed. “I know I’m like… a lot, okay? Just the whole,” he gestured to himself, “the everything. But I’m not interested in… dating someone that’s like me. I like you.” Dan’s cheeks started to pink up.

Phil stepped closer to him and used his free hand to pull Dan in by cupping his jaw - he kissed him gently, pulling a gasp out of Dan as Dan’s other hand came up to clutch his shoulder. Phil pulled back and felt a twinge of pride that Dan rocked forward, eyes still closed.

“I like you too,” Phil said. “Okay.” He took a breath and unlocked his door.

It wasn’t as terrible as it has been, Phil rationalized. The bed was made so he could use it as a couch during the day, and all his dishes were washed and clothes in the laundry basket. His desk was a disaster, but given that’s where he spent the bulk of his time earning his money, it had every right to be. The bookshelf was trashed, editing books stacked precariously on the edge of the desk closest to it, and taken over by trinkets with no permanent home.

More than anything, it was surreal to see Dan in the middle of it: legs going on for a week in his leggings, dropping his designer backpack carelessly on the floor and unzipping his jacket as he slowly turned in a circle, surveying Phil’s flat.

“This is fucking good, Phil. How’d you find this place?”

“My friend Wirrow. He’s got-”

“You’re friends with Wirrow?! I love his paintings, I have three of them at home.”

Phil let out a bark of laughter. “I’ll pass that along.”

“He probably remembers me, I almost faceplanted into a new painting of his at a recent opening because I tripped over my own feet, I was so excited to meet him.” Dan shed his jacket as he talked, and Phil didn’t know what he was expecting, but he should’ve known better. Dan’s grey tank top clung to his slim frame and it was lined with ruffles down one side - his arms and shoulders were highlighted by it as he looked at Phil’s bookshelf and prattled about Wirrow, dropping his jacket across the back of Phil’s computer chair.

“-do you paint too? How’d you guys meet?”

Phil stopped and looked past the outfit. “Are you nervous?”

Dan flinched slightly, his shoulders tensing. “I… don’t know, I guess?”

Phil resisted the urge to roll his eyes and took the few steps to cross the main room, resting his hand on the center of Dan’s back. “We really don’t have to do anything, Dan. I truly would be happy with just-”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t,” Dan interrupted. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “This is gonna sound, like, really bad, okay? And I know the odds of this are, like, low, because you’re weirdly nice, but feel free to just kick me out after I tell you this.”

Phil stayed silent, only shifting his fingers against Dan’s back.

“You’re like… You’ll be the only person I’ve slept with more than once.” Dan laughed a little, shaking his head. “So I don’t really know what to do? This makes me sound really-”

“That’s it? Christ, I thought you’d murdered Wirrow or something.” Phil smiled at Dan’s confused expression. “Dan, that’s fine. I mean, it’s fine if that’s what you wanted, before. And… if that’s what you still want, I guess? I don’t want to push you into any-”

“Uh, no, Phil, I extremely want to fuck you again.” Dan cut him off. His fingers restlessly moved, tracing the edge of the bookshelf. “I just… feel kind of dumb, and I don’t usually feel like an idiot in this area of my life.”

“Well, fortunately for you, I’m extremely boring and can count the number of people I’ve had sex with on one hand.”

“Wow. I’m dating a fucking nerd.” Dan finally met his eyes, and Phil counted it a victory that he was cracking jokes at Phil’s expense.

“The point being,” Phil continued, fighting a smile at Dan’s grin, “that if you want, it’s very, very easy to have sex with someone a second time. And any other subsequent times. In fact, being a 'fucking nerd’, I would say that it typically just gets better.” Dan’s grin softened into a smile, and his hands came up to curl in the soft material of Phil’s open hoodie.

“You decide, Dan. Whatever you want.”

“Hold me?”

Phil pulled Dan into his arms, helpless to obey his request. Dan slipped his bare arms between Phil’s zip-up and button-up, the thin cotton of the button-up doing nothing to ward off the heat of Dan’s skin. Dan tilted his face down and buried his face in Phil’s neck, sighing, and Phil shifted his hold so he could run his fingers through Dan’s hair.

“This is good,” Phil said. “Could do a lot more of this.” It felt easier to say without Dan looking at him - Dan slotted so well against him that it opened up an ache in his chest.

“Bed?” Dan murmured quietly. “Wanna sit with you like this.”

“Yeah,” Phil said, matching his tone. He kissed the top of Dan’s head and started to walk, pulling him along and making Dan giggle. Dan looked up and Phil couldn’t help but kiss his cheek, the corner of his smile. The gentlest of touches pulled the heaviest reactions out of Dan, so he did it again, kissing the corner of his mouth and cheek on the other side just to feel him shiver.

Dan pulled back a little to shift his grip, one hand tightening in the front of Phil’s button-up. “Bed,” he said with more conviction, nudging Phil backwards until his knees bent and Dan could crawl into his lap. Dan pushed him back until he was leaning against the pillows, biting his lip as he looked at Phil. To Phil’s surprise, given the heat in Dan’s eyes, Dan simply laid down half on top of him and nuzzled his neck again. He wrapped his arms back around Dan and pulled him tight, tangling their legs together, denim against Dan’s skintight leggings - Dan let out a soft sigh.

“This is really good,” he said, voice muzzy. “Feels good. S'warm.” Phil felt his mouth press gentle kisses along the base of his throat, and he shivered.

“Can I kiss you?” Phil asked, voice hoarse. Dan looked up and smiled, hair slightly mussed, and pressed his mouth to Phil’s. Over and over, Dan kissed him lightly, one hand coming up brush along Phil’s jaw. Phil sighed against his mouth and tugged him closer, pulling Dan on top of him and muffling his squeak against his mouth.

“This okay?” Phil breathed out.

Dan rocked his hips down, and Phil could see the outline of his cock pressing against his leggings.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s good,“ Dan said, a little out of breath. He laid down on Phil and pressed soft kisses to his jawline until he reached his mouth again, sucking delicately on Phil’s bottom lip and chasing it with chaste kisses.

“Phil, you feel so good,” Dan whispered against his mouth - he was slowly grinding his stiffening cock against Phil’s belly and his kisses were a little less coordinated. Phil whined and sat up, pulling his mouth away from Dan’s with difficulty.

“Off,” he panted, “jacket off, I’m burning up.” Dan groaned and wrested it from his shoulders, fingers lingering at the short sleeves of his button-up as Phil untangled himself and tossed his zip-up off the bed.

“Good look for you,” Dan murmured, sounding distracted. His fingers brushed over the line of buttons. “This too?” he asked, already unbuttoning them.

Phil nodded, bracing himself against his hands and catching his breath as Dan stripped him. Dan’s fingers followed the sleeves, encouraging them down his arm and letting them pool around his wrists. Dan took a sharp breath, nails of one hand dragging through Phil’s chest hair and the broad palm of the other pressing against his ribs and mapping down his stomach.

“Fuck, Phil, you look so good. What the fuck. You’re incredible,” Dan breathed. Phil shivered under the attention, and untangled one hand to press against Dan’s side.

“Come here,” he whispered, but Dan resisted the gentle pull, mapping all over Phil’s face and chest and arms with his eyes.

“Wanna strip me too?” he asked. Phil untangled his other hand and cupped Dan’s face.

“Only if you want to,” he said quietly. He sat up and kissed Dan’s jaw, feeling the shiver that ran through his body. “We’ve got time, Dan - it’s up to you.”

Dan pulled back, and his eyes were huge and shiny. He pushed Phil down and crushed his mouth to his, and _god_ , this was the filthy kissing that Phil half remembered, but even better. He was sober, in his own bed, with a gorgeous boy who wanted to crawl into his lap and strip him and fuck his mouth with his tongue. Phil groaned, a low rumble in his chest that was echoed back in Dan’s moan. Phil gently bit down on Dan’s tongue, sucking away the flash of pain before it sunk in, and Dan whined into his mouth.

“Fuck, Phil, take off my shirt, wanna feel you,” Dan panted; his lips were swollen and wet, and his face was a little pink from the stubble on Phil’s face.

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil echoed back, hands fumbling to strip Dan of his tank top. Dan shook his hair, trying to make it cooperate, but Phil interrupted him, running his hand through Dan’s hair and pulling him back in for another wet kiss. Dan moaned and yelped when Phil sucked and nibbled at his full lower lip. Dan pressed one hand to Phil’s bare chest and squirmed against him, panting and trying to talk between messy kisses.

“Phil, I want- fuck, fuck- god, your mouth-” Dan pulled back and pinned Phil down with one hand when he tried to chase him. Dan’s pupils were huge and his mouth was slick and inviting.

“Fucking hell, I could just kiss you until we come,” Dan said, laughing a little. He leaned back down and gentled his mouth against Phil’s, but it was so slick that the sound it made when they parted had Phil throbbing in his jeans.

“Wanna strip you,” Dan murmured, unable to stop pressing his wet mouth to Phil’s. “Need to feel you, want- fuck, Phil-” he whined as Phil cupped his face with both hands and held him still, licking into Dan’s mouth and feeling the vibrations of his moans.

“Yes, Dan, anything you want,” he gasped, releasing him to slide down Phil’s body.

Dan gave him a smirk as he unfastened Phil’s jeans, kneeling above Phil’s thighs. “Anything, huh? What if I wanted to fuck you?” he teased.

Phil propped himself up on his elbows, smiling and trying to catch his breath. “Haven’t done it before, but I’m not opposed to it,” he admitted.

Dan’s eyes were huge, and his mouth was open and panting but smiling. “Fuck, that’s- not today, but I’m not dropping that topic.” He stripped Phil’s jeans down his thighs and sunk to the floor with them. Phil let his head loll back and sighed at the lack of constriction.

“God, you’ve got a thick cock. Haven’t done this in a while, so sorry if it’s terrible,” Phil heard Dan say, before wet lips kissed against the head of his cock. Phil moaned, arms shaking from the feeling; he looked down and saw Dan looking up, felt his tongue soft against the underside of the head, felt it firm into a point and trace through his slit.

“Dan, oh god, slower, please,” Phil panted. Dan released his cock and laughed when Phil closed his own hand around the base to pull him back from the edge.

“Wow, that wasn’t even the part I was talking about,” he says, grinning. Dan’s hands were a comforting weight against his hips, pressing firmly and massaging.

“God, shut up. You try having an absolutely stunning model blow you, see how long you last.”

“Well, I do hope you’ll suck me off at some point. Actually, this is perfect - stay still.”

Before Phil could protest to any part of that ridiculous compliment, Dan’s mouth was back on him and sinking down, and down and down. Phil’s voice broke in the middle of his moan when he felt Dan’s throat spasm around him, followed by the heat of Dan’s mouth vanishing and Dan coughing.

“Wrong angle. One more try, I’ve got it now.”

“Dan, Dan wait-” Phil caught him by the hair. “Shit, I’m gonna come if you keep doing that.”

“So?” Dan arched an eyebrow; his eyelashes were wet. “That’s kinda the goal. You can fuck me later, or tomorrow. Right now I wanna choke on your cock.” Phil’s hand loosened when Dan nuzzled into it. His eyes were warm when he continued: “We’ve got time.”

Dan held eye contact as he licked and pulled Phil’s cock into his mouth, sinking until his nose was pressed up against Phil’s pubic hair.

“Fuck! Dan, oh my god, that’s-”

Dan moaned around it, throat buzzing and Dan gagged, pulling up and sinking back down immediately. Phil’s hand tightened in his hair and Dan kept going, pacing himself, holding tight onto Phil’s hips.

“Dan, oh god I’m gonna come-” he tugged at Dan’s hair, but Dan looked up at him with wet eyes and let go of his hips. Phil bucked up into his mouth, and Dan gagged and moaned around it. Phil’s stomach sucked in and he thrusted again and came down Dan’s throat, one had twisted in Dan’s hair and the other clutching his shoulder.

“Dan, Dan, oh my god-” Phil carefully eased out of his mouth and stroked over his hair as Dan swallowed and cleared his throat. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Dan coughed a little more but smiled. “Nothing I didn’t absolutely want you to do. That was so fucking hot, Phil, I nearly came from having you fuck my face.”

Phil pulled him up and kissed him, licking the taste of himself out of Dan’s mouth and feeling Dan shake. “Come here, let me take care of you,” he panted. He clutched Dan’s hips and dragged him further up the bed.

“Wait-” Dan said, a beat too late as Phil pulled down his leggings to mid thigh. Phil stared, and then stared up at a blushing Dan, mouth open.

Dan wasn’t even remotely covered anymore because of how hard he was, but it was hard to imagine the blue lace thong he wore covering anything in the first place.

“Was gonna strip for you, but then, I don’t know, felt weird? Like bringing work into it or something.”

Phil’s tongue unstuck from the roof of his mouth to ask, “You wear these at work?”

Dan looked scandalized. “Not this pair, fucking hell. There’s a limit to what I can show off, and my taint is not included in the picture. Just like, a show for you, y'know?”

Phil drug his thumb over the tip of Dan’s leaking cock, watching it jerk against the lacy scrap of fabric pinning it along his hip. He glanced up at Dan as he sucked his thumb clean, but his eyes shut of their own accord and he moaned.

“Phil,” Dan’s voice sounded strangled. “Holy fuck, you’re not gonna need to touch me if you keep doing that.”

Phil opened his eyes and hooked his thumbs under the thin lace spanning Dan’s hips, dragging it down and freeing Dan’s cock. He ran his hand across the smooth, waxed skin above his jutting cock, and heard Dan whine, hands clutching at Phil’s shoulders.

“Not to harp on the age thing, but I actually haven’t done this in… well over a decade, let’s say that.”

Dan’s stomach flexed and his cock leaked another clear drop of precome. “I think it’s safe to say that I find that really fucking hot,” Dan choked out. “Please, Phil, it’s really not gonna take much, just-”

Dan’s sentence cut off in a groan, as Phil eased his mouth over Dan’s cock. Phil moaned, shaking a little with how good and full it felt in his mouth. He trailed his hand lower, cupping his balls – he moaned again at Dan’s desperate whine as he rubbed his thumb over the smooth, delicate skin. He flexed his tongue against the underside of Dan’s cock, pulling off to tease and suck at the head.

“-so, so good, Phil, baby, oh your mouth, oh fuck, look so good with my dick in your mouth-”

Phil moaned, his cock twitching at hearing Dan’s stream of consciousness as he bobbed his head.

“-I’m so close, Phil, please touch me, just anywhere, need to feel you-”

Phil pulled back and sucked at the head while his hand moved up around the base of his cock, fisting over Dan’s shaft; he stroked the back of Dan’s thigh with his other hand, fingertips brushing Dan’s inner thigh.

Dan’s hand tangled in his quiff - “please Phil look at me, look at me” - and Phil met Dan’s eyes. His vision was blurry over the tops of his glasses, but he could see Dan’s mouth open and panting, feel the pulse of Dan’s cock in his mouth.

“Phil! Fuck, oh my god-” Dan’s eyes struggled to stay open as he came, thick and salty over Phil’s tongue. Phil swallowed most of it, some leaking out at the corners of his mouth. He licked at Dan’s cock as he slid it out of his mouth, earning a shudder and a gasped “Phil, fuck me, fuck-” from Dan. Dan’s thighs shook with the effort it took to not collapse, so Phil carefully helped him lay down next to him.

“So,” Phil said as Dan’s breathing started evening, “that went well?”

“I would hit you for mocking me, but you’re gonna need to give me a minute.”

“Take all day and night if you want. If, did you want to…?” Phil trailed off, suddenly uncertain.

“Did I want to cuddle the shit out of you after you just killed me with the fact that you’re like, living porn for me? Yeah, no shit.” Dan awkwardly pulled and kicked off his leggings, hooking the thin lace of his underwear back over his softening cock. He shivered a little, then threw an arm and a leg over Phil, pressing close to his side.

“I’m gonna assume that was a compliment.” Phil said. He hooked an arm around Dan’s shoulders and pulled him even closer, running his other hand over Dan’s ribs and hips.

“Uh, that you and your cock and mouth have ruined me for other guys? Yeah, ’s a fucking compliment.” Dan nuzzled against Phil’s jaw and sighed. “Fuck, you’re like, stupid hot, Phil.”

Phil felt his neck flush. “I’m not,” he said, quietly laughing. “Glad my look works for you, though.”

Dan sat up, glaring at him. “Dude, you’re like, objectively super hot. The whole hair, eyes, stubble look, your fucking shoulders – you are just…” Dan pushed himself over Phil, kneeling over him and firmly running his hands down his chest. His eyes were intense as he mapped out Phil’s torso, moving back up and over his arms.

“I understand you like me, but it’s a little hard to buy into me being ‘objectively hot’ when you’re sitting on my lap in a lacy scrap of underwear,” Phil teased, breath coming short with Dan’s focused attention. “I was not at all bad looking when I was your age, but that’s gone away with time.”

“Fuck off, honestly.” Dan pinched Phil’s nipple hard, making his breath hitch. Dan raised an eyebrow and continued, “I know I look good; wouldn’t be a stripper if I didn’t. Trust me when I say I’ve seen a lot of guys in various states of undress, and you’re the only one I came back to. And-” he hunched a little, not meeting Phil’s eyes as he smoothed a hand over his shoulder. “-am still interested, in, uh, coming back to.”

Phil slowly sat up, wrapping an arm around Dan’s lower back and steadying him in Phil’s lap. He wanted to brush away the insecurity he saw in Dan’s eyes, shout down bloody murder at whoever made him feel like he was unwanted after sex. “I’m very interested in that too,” he said quietly. “You’re welcome to spend the night here, but it’s still a little early. What do you want to do?”

Dan inhaled shakily. “Just, um. Just stay here. With you. We can like, get dressed and get dinner later?” He draped his arms around Phil’s neck; Phil closed his eyes at the memory of the last time they sat like this, where Phil was vulnerable and Dan pulled him back. He opened his eyes and smiled, Dan’s hopeful and nervous face greeting him.

“Of course, Dan,” he said. “I’d like that.”


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended for this to be mostly porn, but we all know that’s not possible. I wrote most of this last year and then was completely blocked on it until this past week.  
> There will probably be other stories in this series, but this is the last section of Lover Lay Down.

Phil had been awake for an hour. An hour with his arm wrapped around Dan, who was curled up against him, chest bare and draped over Phil like he’d always been there. Phil could feel his slow exhalations in the puffs of air across his chest, in the rise and fall of his smooth back. Dan’s legs, in borrowed sleep pants cinched to their limit around his narrow hips, tangled around Phil’s. The air of the flat was starting to feel chilled despite Dan’s warmth against him, but he was reluctant to do anything that might disturb Dan’s sleep.

_Invasive thoughts_ , Phil tried to remind himself. _You can wake him a little but he’ll still be here._ Carefully, he slid down the bed slightly, using his free arm to pull the covers up. Dan stirred, and Phil froze, feeling Dan’s arm tighten around his waist.

“Don’ go anywhere,” Dan mumbled. “Warm.”

Phil felt like his heart cracked open a little. “It’s okay, Dan, just pulling up the covers.” He rubbed his hand up over Dan’s back, smiling when he felt Dan cling tighter. “Go back to sleep.”

He finished shifting so his exposed shoulder and Dan’s back were covered, and relaxed.

“Sound like you’re awake.” Dan said muzzily. He burrowed his head against Phil’s chest. “Why’re you awake. S'early.”

“Woke up a little bit ago.” He kissed the top of Dan’s head gently. “Just relax, get some rest.”

Dan grumbled and shifted, sliding a leg over both of Phil’s and draping himself entirely over him. Phil felt Dan pressing kisses to his chest and up against his collarbone and sighed, stroking his hand down Dan’s back.

“Done sleeping,” Dan murmured. “Wanna kiss you.” Dan shifted his legs in a way that let him press up against Phil more fully. “Wanna feel you.”

Phil’s breath stuttered a little, and Dan lifted his head, smiling. His hair was a mess, losing its fastidious style and slightly fluffed on the side he’d been sleeping on. Dan’s eyes were still half-lidded with sleep, but his smile turned sharper when he propped himself up on his elbows and rocked his hips slowly against Phil’s.

“Want you to fuck me,” he said softly. “Got lube and condoms in my bag.” Dan’s eyes fluttered shut and he tilted his head back, sighing. “Wanted you to yesterday too but, god, wanted to taste you more.”

Phil’s breath felt fully knocked out of him, his hand sliding down to Dan’s rolling hip. “How do you-” he tried, then swallowed around his dry throat. “How do you go from asleep to this in less than a minute?”

Dan met his eyes again and grinned. “Twenty-three, remember?” He lowered his head and nipped at the thin skin over Phil’s collarbone; Phil let his head fall back against the pillows and Dan hummed, kissing and biting up his neck. “Waking up next to you,” he said between kisses, “not difficult to go from asleep to turned on.” He nuzzled against Phil’s jaw, right under his ear, and sucked at the tender skin on his neck; Phil inhaled sharply, his other hand coming up to hold Dan’s hips and grind up against him more purposefully.

Dan pulled back, eyes closed and mouth open as he followed the guidance of Phil’s hands. “Fuck, that’s good -”

Phil pulled him down hard against his hips and arched up, kissing the gasp out of his mouth. Dan moaned against his mouth and wrapped an arm around his shoulders - they collapsed back onto the bed, falling onto their sides, mouths missing and reconnecting. Dan’s legs tangled up against him, trying to get more friction, and Phil pulled back.

“Philll, no, wha-”

“Get your backpack.”

Dan’s eyes were dark with arousal; he untangled their legs to slide out of bed and promptly tripped, barely managing to recover before he smashed face-first into the floor. Phil snorted, covering his mouth to suppress his laughter as Dan turned and glared at him. The effect was softened by his sleep ruffled hair and flushed chest.

“Look, it’s not my fault I’m ninety percent limbs,” he groused as he rummaged through his backpack.

Phil kicked off the sheets around his legs and laughed. “You’d think you’d have some learned grace from your job,” he teased. Dan scoffed and opened a different pocket on his backpack, swearing at it.

Phil hesitated, glancing at Dan facing away from him with Phil’s pyjama pants slung low around his hips, and slid off his own fleece pants. He let his eyes drift shut for a moment, trying to let go of his own insecurities as he wrapped a hand around himself. _Dan’s said he finds you attractive; he looks at you like you’re attractive; this is fine._ Dan made a triumphant noise, followed by a clatter of something being dropped.

“Holy fuck, Phil,” he said, quiet. Phil opened his eyes and Dan was staring at him, mouth open. Phil bit his lip and fought the urge to cover himself.

“Find what we needed?” Phil asked as he slowly moved his hand over himself, feeling the flesh twitch and swell as he slowly pulled himself under Dan’s gaze.

Dan blinks a couple of times before stuttering out, “Y-yeah, yes, fuck, you look so good.” He bent over and picked up the bottle of lube, tossing it and the condom onto the bed. He stripped naked out of his sleep pants and tripped back onto the bed in his haste, climbing over Phil and knocking Phil’s hand out of the way to stroke him.

“Phil, holy fuck, you- fuck, that fried my brain,” Dan rambled, twisting his wrist as he pulled Phil’s cock to hardness. His right hand blindly reached for the lube, eyes darting between his hand on Phil’s cock, Phil’s chest, and his face, like they didn’t know where to settle. “So fucking hot-” he cracked open the bottle, pulling his hand away to wet it, “-just, like, there, waiting for me.” He slid the wet palm of his hand up the underside of Phil’s cock, and Phil’s stomach jumped at the temperature difference - Dan’s fingers only wrapped around once he reached the head, and he closed his palm into a tight fist and pushed it down, enclosing Phil’s cock. Phil let his mouth fall open on a moan, fingers seeking out Dan’s knees and digging in as he bucked into Dan’s grip.

“God, fuck, I need to stretch, want this in me,” Dan said, fixated on his fist wrapped around Phil. He knelt up and pulled his hand away, leaving Phil bucking against nothing. Phil’s whine died on his tongue as Dan moved his slick hand back and sighed, rocking his hips minutely back against his hand.

Phil slowly sat up, watching Dan’s face as his eyes slipped shut, eyelashes fluttering and breaths coming out in short pants. He reached out and gently placed his hands against Dan’s hips, making Dan shudder. Dan’s right hand dropped the bottle and came up to Phil’s shoulder to ground himself.

“Touch me please, anywhere, your hands feel so nice-” Dan’s near begging turned into whimpers as Phil obliged, pinning Dan between his hands with one on his lower back and one on his stomach. He slowly moved them up, pressing firm so as not to tickle, feeling Dan’s lean musculature shift.

“You’re beautiful,” Phil whispered; he felt like he was worshiping Dan, leaning in to kiss at the jut of his collarbone, right hand moving carefully over Dan’s chest as he mapped out his skin. “I can’t believe you aren’t just a dream,” he said, so quiet as to only be talking to himself. Dan’s chest moved oddly, his breath escaping him in a staccato gasp.

“Fuck it, ’m stretched enough, need you in me,” Dan panted. He grabbed for the condom, but dropped it to catch himself against Phil’s shoulders when Phil’s left hand dropped back down to squeeze his ass. Phil smiled against his chest and slid his fingers down to feel Dan’s slick hole-

“Dan,” he said softly, “you’re barely opened up, no.” He maneuvered to switch his hands, picking up the bottle of lube and slicking up his right.

“’S fine, I can take it, don’t- ah, don’t worry, oh fuck, Phil-” Phil slid his middle finger into Dan, feeling Dan shake against him, Dan’s face pressed to the side of his head. Dan’s huff of breath stirred the hair by Phil’s ear.

“I don’t want you to ‘take it’, I want you to enjoy it,” Phil said. He kissed at Dan’s neck where his head was bowed against Phil’s, feeling him shake more as he eased his index in alongside his first finger.

“You’re far too tight, love, shh, relax,” Phil whispered, the endearment falling out without conscious thought. Dan only whined in response, hands slipping against Phil’s shoulders as he leaned closer into Phil’s chest. He pulled his fingers out slowly to re-slick them and slid them back in, nudging his ring finger against them, but Dan was still closed up. Dan trembled more, letting out quiet, choked noises, and Phil dropped the bottle to slide his hand against his back.

“Dan, are you alright? Do you need me to-”

“Don’t stop,” Dan whined, letting out a wet breath. “Please, fuck, you feel so good like this-” he ducked his head down to bury it in the crook of Phil’s neck, arching his back to push against Phil’s fingers, but all Phil noticed was the dampness of Dan’s face against his skin.

“Dan, shh, hey, are you-?”

“Don’t stop,” Dan gasped, “please.”

“Hey, I won’t, but you have to look at me. Okay?” He managed to slide his ring finger in alongside the other two with the new angle, but he just held them there, moving only when Dan’s hips did.

Dan rubbed his face against Phil’s neck; Phil could feel him swallow, and he rubbed his left hand along Dan’s back slowly, trying to reassure him. Sure enough, when Dan pulled back, his eyelashes were damp and face flushed; with embarrassment, arousal, or shame, Phil couldn’t tell.

“Oh, Dan,” he said, bringing his hand around to cup Dan’s face. He brushed away a tear and watched Dan swallow, looking up at the ceiling. “If you’re… uncomfortable, we don’t-”

“Please, no.” Dan’s hand reached around to catch Phil’s wrist, keeping Phil’s fingers inside of him; his eyelids fluttered as he clenched around Phil’s fingers and relaxed. “That’s not- it’s so good, please, trust me. I just haven’t… It’s never…” He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. “Not never, but- the guys I’ve been with don’t normally-”

“They don’t stretch you?” Phil tried to keep his voice even, and his hand against Dan’s face shook briefly - he moved it to brush tears off his other cheek, so hopefully Dan wouldn’t notice.

“Not… excessively.” He swallowed and finally looked at Phil. “Not like this.”

Phil took a slow, even breath, closing his eyes briefly. He remembered his only other male partner who he’d gone this far with, almost decades ago now, who was so kind to him and showed him how to open him up so slowly every time they did anything like this. When he opened his eyes, Dan looked nervous and so young in front of him, despite his much wider variety of experience.

“Dan, this isn’t…” He trailed off, and then gently moved his fingers within Dan to hear his breath hitch. “This isn’t 'excessive’.” He moved his fingers slowly, and carefully spread them, just slightly - Dan let out a soft noise, and Phil’s anger increased.

“You deserve to be treated so, so well, Dan,” he said. “Let me show you?”

“Fuck, you aren’t already?” Dan said, laughing a little with his eyes still wet.

Phil curled his hand around the back of Dan’s neck and pulled him into a kiss - his wrist ached a little from the angle, but he twisted his hand anyway, flexing his fingers apart and together inside Dan. Dan’s mouth opened into the kiss, letting Phil in to run his tongue along the inside of Dan’s full bottom lip. He pulled back slightly, waiting for Dan to open his eyes before he asked, “On your back for me?”

Dan’s eyes shut hard and he took a breath, hitching again as Phil kept slowly moving his fingers. “That’s… we can, if I get, like, weird about it, we can change, right?”

Phil’s brow furrowed, and he kissed Dan on the cheek. “Never mind, Dan, it’s okay. I just want you to feel good.” His voice dropped a little deeper. “You like being on top? Do you want to ride me again?”

Dan’s eyes opened - he was stunning, brown irises dark and pupils wide. “Yes, please, I want that,” he said, voice lacking all the scripted sexuality from a year ago, breathy and quiet between them. Phil pulled him in again, kissing him with a little less coordination than before - he didn’t want to pull his fingers out of Dan, but the muscles in the back of his hand burned from holding the angle. Regretfully, he slowly pulled his fingers out, dragging against his rim and feeling Dan jerk against him.

“Want you, Dan,” he whispered, and Dan moaned against Phil’s mouth. Dan found the tinfoil wrapper first and tore it open, fumbling slightly as he slid it onto Phil. Phil gasped, an embarrassingly high pitched sound slipping out as Dan touched his neglected cock, but Dan only moaned again in response.

“Love the way you sound, Phil, fuck-” he picked up the lube and slicked Phil up with it, fist moving loosely over Phil’s cock. “Sound so gorgeous, I want to hear it all-” he pushed Phil down onto the bed; Phil would never admit it, but his back muscles felt as though they creaked with joy at being able to lay down.

Dan hovered over him, bracing a hand on his chest as he positioned himself over Phil. “Can’t wait to feel you again, I felt you for days after the last time,” he whispered, and Phil moaned, hands coming up to steady Dan’s hips, unable to help his restless fingers rubbing Dan’s soft skin. _Was it because you weren’t prepped enough last time_ , Phil’s mind whispered, _did I hurt you?_ Dan’s eyes were wide, watching Phil’s face as he guided the tip of Phil’s cock to his entrance, and Phil resolved to be this gentle with Dan for as long as Dan would have him if it pulled that shocked, pleased look out of him.

Phil felt Dan’s hips shift under the skin as he slowly sank down onto Phil’s cock, and he gripped him tighter. Dan’s hands balanced against his chest as his body took Phil in, mouth open on a soundless whine and eyes shut - his face mixed between pleasure and concentration. Phil’s eyelids fluttered almost shut and he gasped at the slick heat of Dan’s body wrapping around his cock. Phil braced his feet against the bed, propping himself up on one elbow; the furrow between Dan’s brows had relaxed, but his eyes were still closed.

“Dan, look at me,” Phil whispered, lifting a hand to brush his fringe to the side, smoothing the hair on the side of his head. Dan shook his head and let out a choked laugh, sitting up a little more to grind back on Phil.

“I’m gonna come way too soon if I look at you, and I don’t want this to be over that fast,” he said, sounding far too tense for Phil’s liking. He rocked his hips slowly - part adjustment but part distraction, and Phil could tell Dan wanted him to ignore his discomfort. Phil sat up fully, Dan seated on him and leaning back against Phil’s raised knees, breathing heavily and shifting on Phil’s cock.

“You feel so good, Dan, just like this.” Phil urged him forward to slot their mouths together, and Dan let out a satisfied sound against him. Phil pulled back just long enough to whisper “take your time” before kissing him again. Dan’s arms came up to hook over Phil’s shoulders, and he squirmed against Phil, starting to ride him. Phil’s hands flexed against Dan’s hips with Phil’s want to guide him, but he resisted. The kiss broke and messily reconnected, Dan’s movements jostling them. Phil let it break as he dropped his head to Dan’s shoulder and moaned.

“Phil,” Dan gasped; Phil felt one of Dan’s hands thread into his messy hair, gripping it and tugging slightly. Phil resisted it, relishing the twinge of pain while licking at Dan’s salt-damp skin and sucking it, making Dan whine. All Phil could do was cling to Dan as Dan pulled him into his tight hole over and over.

“Phil, please,” he heard Dan gasp, “you feel so - I’m so open, I need-”

Phil shifted and wrapped one arm fully around Dan. “Let me take care of you,” he said, voice unsteady, kissing Dan’s shoulder. “Please, anything, Dan.” Dan sank fully down onto Phil’s cock and rolled his hips; Phil’s hand moved from Dan’s hip to his ass, squeezing the firm muscle and sighing against the soft skin of his shoulder.

Dan’s hands moved to Phil’s shoulders and shoved him down - Phil went, a breath knocked out of him on impact.

“Take care of me by fucking me,” Dan whispered, rising up slightly on his knees and bracing against Phil’s chest. Phil moaned and finally used his hands to hold Dan’s hips firmly in place as he pushed up into him. Dan’s jaw dropped, eyes open but vacant with pleasure.

“Yes, god, right there, fuck, Phil, fuck me,” he babbled. Phil braced his feet farther apart to snap his hips up harder and Dan’s eyes rolled back into his head, words rolling into stuttering noises. His cock hung between them, dripping onto Phil’s belly, and Phil whined on an exhale at the memory of how Dan tasted in his mouth the day before.

“Dan,” he gasped, hips speeding up at he chased the burning promise of his orgasm. “I’m not gonna last, you feel so good.” He moaned, head tipping back onto the pillows. “Fuck, I want you in my mouth again.”

Dan’s short nails bit into his chest and he let out a strangled whine, body convulsing. Phil groaned and pulled his head up in time to see Dan’s cock twitch and spill between their bodies, untouched and flushed red. Dan’s eyes were screwed tight but his mouth was lax, the soft pink of his bottom lip wet and inviting.

“Oh god, Dan-” his voice cut out as his orgasm crashed into him; he gasped for breath, one hand covering Dan’s lower back to hold him still as he came. Getting to look at Dan in his own apartment, eyelids fluttering and chest heaving as Phil came in him, Phil briefly thought going sober was worth it for this moment alone.

—

“Hey, Dan?”

“Hmm?” Dan responds - he sounds as relaxed as he feels, a heavy weight against Phil’s side. They lay tangled up on the bed, air cooling the eddies of sweat on their skin.

Phil hesitated briefly. “You said when you we first talked that you didn’t make a habit out of sex with… the clientele at the club.” Dan snorted, but Phil pressed on. “Why me?”

Dan let the silence hang after the question, fingers idly tracing patterns on Phil’s chest. “That’s not exactly what I said,” he finally settles on. “I said I don’t make a habit out of fucking sad drunks.”

“Oh.”

“That’s not-” Dan blows out a breath. “I mean, I’d pulled during shifts at the club before. That was nothing new. But not…” His fingers slowed, hand curling into a fist. “They were always, like, frat guys looking for a fuck that wouldn’t spread it around, or guys that were easy to pull and then easy to dodge after. If I ever had a problem with one, security’s good at work.”

Dan stopped again, but Phil was nothing if not patient. He waited, listening to Dan’s breaths and counting his own.

“I’ve had… older guys try and hook up with me before.” Phil couldn’t help a soft laugh, and earned a pinch in his side. “I never went for it though. They were always like, creepy about it. Wanted me to be a little girl for them while I was doing my rounds.” Dan started gesticulating with his hand. “It’s like, why the fuck are you at an all-male strip club if you want a chick to roleplay with? I know I’m pretty, but you’d be quite disappointed if we did go back to your car.”

Dan trailed off, hand falling back to Phil’s chest. Phil tugged the sheet over both of them to stop the chill of the air and smoothed it over Dan’s bare back, running his hand from shoulder to hip.

Dan sighed. “When you put that £20 back in your pocket, you didn’t look like anyone else I’ve dealt with.” Phil could feel him working his jaw. “You looked like… you were done, y'know?”

“Dan…”

“I don’t know, it’s not like I’m a magic fuck, but I know I’m good at it and you looked like you needed _something_ good in your life.” Dan sighed again, the air ghosting over the sheet covering Phil’s chest. “Why ask, anyway? It’s not like I know why I’m doing what I’m doing most of the time.”

“Well,” Phil started slowly, “I was broke. I was far from the only drunk man in there. I assume I was far from the only sad man in there as well. Honestly, when I walked in there, I was only searching for another drink.” Dan shifted by his side and propped himself on his chest; Phil could feel his gaze weighing on him, but kept looking at the ceiling. “It had been… years. Decades? Since I’d done anything with another man. Definitely years since I’d even thought about it. I was married, and that door was closed.”

“Were you married when you came into the club?” Dan’s voice held only curiosity.

Phil laughed, a short bark. “God, no. She’d left me well before that, and cut off visitation once my drinking became… visibly debilitating, let’s say.”

Dan made a sympathetic noise, but Phil shook his head. “No, that’s the only logical course of action she could have taken. I mean, I was a belligerent ass about it then, but looking back… yeah,” he trailed off.

They lay in silence for a minute.

“You kept letting me know I’d made the right decision,” Dan said quietly. “Like, when you asked to kiss me. They don’t, usually.”

“Kiss you?” Phil asked, throat suddenly dry. “Or ask?”

“Either. Mostly the first one. But no one’s ever asked.” Dan pressed on. “And you just… kept asking? Not in a dirty talk way, like… in a way where I could’ve said no. And then the way you reacted when I called you-”

“Let’s not,” Phil said tightly.

He saw Dan’s head bob in his peripheral vision. “Right. I felt like shit, y'know? But you just pushed past it and it got good again and… I don’t know. After all that I knew it was the right decision to give you that money. I’ve fucked up a lot in my life but I wasn’t gonna let you leave until you had money to like, eat, and shit.” He took a breath, but Phil cut him off.

“You couldn’t have known that. In the state I was in it’s a miracle I didn’t drink myself to death that night.”

“You’re right. But not giving it to you… I feel like that would’ve been just as bad. Your clothes were all fucked up, you had no cash. I don’t know. There’s not like, a right answer, but there’s an answer I could live with, and it was giving you a shitton of cash I definitely didn’t need.”

Phil pushed against the bed, slowly sliding himself until he was propped upright. Dan sat up blinking at him. Instead of saying anything, Phil just watched him, letting his eyes take in Dan’s face. He still looked so young, but now the dark circles seemed to have depth to them past sleepless nights.

“Can I kiss you?” Phil asked suddenly.

Unexpectedly, he was rewarded with Dan’s face cracking into a grin. “You don’t have to ask every time, you know.”

“I want to.” Dan’s grin faltered, eyes confused. “I mean, maybe not every time, but I will.” Phil swallowed, throat clicking. “You always have a choice with me, Dan,” he said softly. “You can say no to anything, and you don’t owe me a reason.”

Dan stared at him. “We aren’t still talking about 'why you’, are we?”

Phil shook his head.

“But did I… was that the answer you were looking for?”

“I wasn’t looking for any particular answer, I just wanted to know what your answer was.” He shrugged. “If you even had one. I wasn’t sure.”

Dan looked away, running a hand through his hair. “I… okay.” He nodded. “Okay.”

Phil looked at Dan, studiously not meeting Phil’s eyes, and smiled.

“I have a gallery opening in a couple of weeks,” he said. Dan looked at him, expression confused.

“Yeah, you mentioned that hippie café picked up some of your prints.”

“Would you like to come as my date?”

Dan’s mouth opened, but no words came out. Phil laughed and cupped his cheek with one hand, kissing his forehead.

“I- I mean, yes, obviously, no shit!” Dan sputtered, and Phil grinned against Dan’s forehead.

“I just- what are you gonna tell people, if they ask?”

Phil paused, smile not leaving his face - he felt somewhat giddy. “That you’re my boyfriend, I suppose, if you’re alright with that.”

“That’s- I mean, yes, that’s-” Dan took a breath. “That is absolutely fine with me.” Phil pulled back and grinned at him adoringly, and to his delight Dan’s cheeks were pink. “But I sort of meant about me and- and my job.”

Phil shrugged. “Unless you have any qualms, I was just going to say you were a dancer. If they ask for specifics, that’s on them.” He trailed his hand down and rubbed his thumb against Dan’s jaw. “I have no intention of hiding what you do or who you are. As long as that’s…?”

“No, no, it’s fine with me!” Dan said hastily. “I just… wasn’t sure what you were thinking.”

“I like you,” Phil said simply. “I’m not interested in spending time with people who would judge you for your job. Doubly so given it’s how we met.” His fingers wandered into Dan’s hair, letting the soft strands slip between his fingers; Dan’s eyelids drooped at the contact. “Should probably figure out something more appropriate to say though, rather then 'we had sex after his shift in a women’s bathroom and then didn’t talk for a year’.”

Dan sputtered again and Phil fell back against the pillows laughing as Dan shoved at him in indigence.

“And you say _I’m_ the impossible one? You’re full of shit, Lester.”

Phil grinned, body still feeling languid and relaxed from spending all morning in bed. He slid his legs from under the sheets and sat up, popping his back.

“Whatever you say, Daniel,” he teased. “Let’s go get breakfast.”


End file.
